Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
