I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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