They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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