If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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