and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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