i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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