i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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