What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
