she was so not down for the gang bang
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
