Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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