I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
