Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
