Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
