I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
