I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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