Small penises have feelings too.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
