I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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