Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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