I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
