So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
How external is "for external use only"?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
