The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
