They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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