then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
