if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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