erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
