I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
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