so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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