I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
