I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
