i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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