I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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