Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
