I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
