if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
