READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
