VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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