I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
