bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
