He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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