Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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