Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
