Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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