4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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