she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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