Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize
