Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
