we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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