Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
