Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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