my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I had to cum in my sink.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
